I am still learning how to answer this question completely and sincerely. Of course, on the onset I would say yes. But, when it comes down to it, do I really trust Him? If He chooses not to give me the desires of my heart in this lifetime, will He still be good?
I have been encouraged by two friends that the path ahead may look different than I am expecting it to. It is another reminder that I need to trust God. He is the only one that knows the end from the beginning.
As I look forward to attending a private investigator conference this weekend, my heart is tender. This past year has had several disappointments as I have sought God’s next step for me. I want to be able to trust God completely regardless of the outcome. While it is a difficult process to go through, I am thankful for it. I have learned to rely on the strength of my Savior and rest in His sovereignty.
So, if this conference comes and goes and no door appears to open, will I still trust God? If you asked me this question yesterday, I would have admitted my doubt. And, if I am honest, I still have doubts today but I also have the assurance that He will lead me day by day. He will continue to provide my every need, even if it means relying on the help of others.
Will you pray for me? Will You pray, more than anything, that I will trust completely the good hand of the Lord?
Thank you family. Your prayers and words of encouragement are a source of strength. When moments become difficult, I often go back and read comments or email replies as a way of comforting my soul. Thank you for your partnership in the Gospel.
The Lord is Good and He is Faithful. One day we will see His face and behold His beauty! Oh, what a day that will be!
Since leaving my month-stay in Ohio, life has felt upside down in several ways. When I landed in Florida, I hit the ground running. Within three days, I moved out of my apartment. Having been removed from that setting for more than one month now, I can affirmatively say that there was something in the environment that upset my health, and I feel 75% better now, so I am extremely grateful.
For the next three weeks, I was blessed to stay with a family in Sebring, 35 minutes from where I work. Unfortunately, I came down with Covid-19 while I was with them. They took great care of me; breakfast in bed, home-cooked meals, room service- the whole nine yards. I was spoiled, for sure.
An added blessing during my stay with them, especially during the time of isolation, was the ability to walk to a nearby pond where wildlife was present. It was great to sit by the pond for several hours throughout the day, witnessing God’s creation and spending those moments reflecting on God’s magnificence and His care for each one of us.
Before I came down with Covid-19, I had a meeting scheduled with a private investigator. We had been discussing a possible internship with his agency. I was looking forward to meeting with him as soon as I could. He lives in Ocala, FL, 2.5 hours north of Wauchula, where I currently live.
I have a friend whose mother lives in Ocala. I wondered if I could stay with her mom for three days while I make connections. Well, not only could I stay for three days, but her mom was currently residing with her in New Jersey, and I could stay in the home rent-free for the summer! Wow! What a huge blessing and great first step.
I went to Ocala on three separate weekends. I enjoyed it there. The investigator and I had trouble coordinating our schedules, so the first two weekends, we did not meet.
The second weekend I was there, I was able to visit Cross Pointe church. Upon arriving, I made instant connections and felt at home. There was an international student get-together that night, so I asked if I could join them. I was welcomed and had a great time! It had been a while since I had participated in an event that gave me so much joy! There were about 10-12 people there, most of whom did not have a relationship with Jesus. What an incredible way to show them God’s love and introduce them to the One who died that they would have eternal life!
Last Friday, I met with the private investigator. It was a difficult decision, but I decided to pass on the opportunity. While there were elements to the job that I would have benefited from, there were too many unsettling factors. Overall, it did not seem like a good fit. I sensed in my spirit that God had something better for me, so I walked away. After waiting for more than one year for an opportunity to make itself known, I was not ready to settle. I wanted God’s best.
I have since moved out of the house in Sebring. A friend loaned me their camper for two weeks, so that is where I am as I write this update. I love camping, so I am in my happy place. As upside-down as life can feel at times, I am so thankful that God is always holding us tightly.
I am looking forward to attending a conference with many private investigators in Florida on June 17-19. One of the speakers is Toby Braun, who donates time to investigate human trafficking cases. He will teach about the rise of human trafficking investigations and how investigators can equip themselves for this work. Perhaps, he will be a good connection for me. I am hopeful.
I want to say a special, deep, and heartfelt “thank you” to all who have given one-time gifts over the last few months. God has faithfully provided each month above and beyond what I need. Praise His Name!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. We are blessed!